Welcome toIt’s A Shanda, one Northeastern Jew’s quest to find a decent bagel in Seattle (and beyond). If you’re interested in taking this journey with me, make sure you subscribeso you never miss a review. If you want to ensure I review any specific bagels (or want to let me know why I’m wrong), you can email me at seanmatthewkeeley@gmail.com.
“What's the deal with pumpernickel bagels? They're just about my favorite, but it seems like they're fairly uncommon here. Are they that much harder to make, or are they just not popular enough to justify making a second dough when you could be using your regular dough and using new toppings to expand your variety?”
Reader Josh L. submitted this as a question for a mailbag a while back. I figured I would do a quick look around to see who makes pumpernickel bagels and call it a day. But then I thought about when I asked notable Seattleites about their bagel preferences and Eater Seattle editor Harry Cheadle said he preferred pumpernickel “if they have it, which in Seattle they usually don't.”
And it’s true, a surprisingly small number of Seattle bagel shops offer pumpernickel bagels on the regular. I thought back to when I was younger and pumpernickel was always an option at any reputable bagel place. But I don’t remember getting the pumpernickel that often and wondering why it is so ubiquitous.
I wasn’t anti-pumpernickel by any means. Rye bread was a staple of my diet and remains a preferred sandwich bread option. It just never really occurred to me to get a pumpernickel bagel. And I also realized that I don’t actually know that much about pumpernickel, other than that it’s a really fun world to say.
So what the heck IS pumpernickel anyway?
Historically, it’s a dense and somewhat sweet bread made with sourdough starter and coarsely ground rye. Traditional pumpernickel bread features a deep brown color, an earthy aroma, and a dark chocolate or coffee-like flavor.
Originating in Germany, it spread across Europe as unique varieties popped up in Poland, the Netherlands, and elsewhere. It eventually rose to popularity in America thanks to Jewish delis that would feature it as bread and bagels.
Traditionally, pumpernickel gets its characteristics thanks to a long bake and the Maillard reaction (the chemical process that browns bread). The demands of the modern world don’t often allow for such long baking, so you’ll find American pumpernickel made with added ingredients such as molasses, caramel color, and cocoa powder for color and flavor.
My favorite thing I learned in researching pumpernickel is the generally accepted origin of the word. Supposedly, it comes from Germanic languages, where pumpern was a synonym for flatulence and nickel was a form of Nicholas, which was associated with the devil. Ergo, pumpernickel roughly means “farting devil” or “devil’s fart,” relating to it being hard to digest. Not everyone agrees with that origin but I refuse to accept any other answer.
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So the question is, where can one find a pumpernickel bagel in Seattle? And which of them are actually worth eating?
While there may be some bagel shops and pop-ups that dabble in the flavor from time to time, I was able to identify eight local bagel shops that always have pumpernickel on the menu: Bagel Oasis, Blazing Bagels, Dingfelder’s, Einstein Bros., Kelly Cannoli, Oxbow, Westman’s, and Zylberschtein’s.
I decided to eliminate Dingfelder’s, Einstein Bros., and Kelly Cannoli from his process for reasons you presumably understand if you’re familiar with my reviews. I’m a glutton for punishment but even I have my limits.
That left us with five potential pumpernickel princes to choose from. So, because I lead a charmed life, I spent a morning driving across Seattle to procure a singular pumpernickel bagel from each of the five shops in question.
As I’m sure you’ve noticed, each bagel looked entirely different. It was fascinating to see them laid out like that. It’s one thing to have everyone’s plain bagels next to one another, it’s another thing to see how stark the pumpernickel makes the differences stand out.
Now it was time to take a closer look at each option to find out who understood the assignment and who pumpernickeled too close to the sun.
We begin with the Blazing Bagels pumpernickel.
First off, it was a big boy. The biggest of the five options. It was also the darkest with a color that reminded me of the classic pumpernickel look. It was a very shiny bagel that felt dense when I held it. The top was soft with slight crinkles while the bottom featured a strong Cornmeal Ring of Doom (CRoD). The bottom was firm but not hard or knockable.
The bagel offered a soft rip. I noted a slight rye smell but also a tangy smell as well. It had a very malty taste. I did note more rye flavor as I ate but it was a weird mix. The interior, which resembled chocolate cake, also felt a little dry.
Next up is Oxbow.
The bar was high because they specifically use rye flour for their bagels, so if anyone was going to nail it I would think it would be them.
The exterior coloring here was like a chocolatey brown and the bagel was very matte and smaller than the others. There was a lot of texture on the top, though it was soft with slight crinkles here and there. No CRoD on the bottom, which was very hard and knockable. This one portended to be a real cruncher.
The bagel offered a crispy rip. I noted a medium rye smell on the interior, though my initial thought of the look and smell was gingerbread. It was indeed a very crunchy chew and rebounded after each bite. The flavor was interesting. I don’t think I would describe it as tasting like pumpernickel, though I couldn’t quite put my finger on it.
We now move to Bagel Oasis.
The bagel was a good size, maybe slightly undersized from the norm. The coloring looked like a classic pumpernickel brown. The top was very blistery and bubbly, the one bagel in the bunch to have that. The top was soft but crinkly. Meanwhile, the bottom was firm and knockable while featuring a slight CRoD. I could smell the pumpernickel rye from the outside.
The bagel had a crispy rip and the interior had a very strong smell of rye. It had a good crunch from the bottom and the flavor was quintessentially pumpernickel. I thought the interior of the bagel looked just right in terms of the shade of brown. It reminded me of the pumpernickel bagels I grew up with in pretty much all aspects.
Next up is Westman’s.
This one was a very shiny chocolate brown-looking pumpernickel bagel. It was a bit bigger than the norm and soft all around. Both the top and the bottom were extremely soft with no crispness. Smelling the bagel from the outside, I detected other flavors it likely picked up from the shop but not rye.
The bagel had a soft rip with a wisp of crispness. The interior, which resembled mousse cake in color, offered a slight rye smell, though it was muted. The bagel had a strange taste. I noted rye, but something else was throwing it off and making it tangy.
Finally, we arrive at Zylberschtein’s.
This one had a very light chocolate color on the exterior. The top was soft in places but firm and crinkly in others. The bottom had a lot of crevices but was very soft. I detected a slight rye smell from the outside.
The bagle offered a soft rip and the interior resembled classic rye bread. There was a slight crunch on the bite, depending on where you were eating. When you got the right texture, the bagel had some nice crunch. There was a strong rye flavor but there was also something else in there. A tanginess that left a strange aftertaste in my mouth.
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I’m going to provide my official Seattle Pumpernickel Bagel Rankings below for paid subscribers, though you can probably tell which one of these bagels is the primo pumpernickel prize of the pack.
I’ll also say that, after working my way through five pumpernickel bagels, I was reminded why I don’t tend to eat too many of them these days. I enjoyed the experiment, but I steadfastly remain a “regular bagel” kind of guy. I’m a creature of habit for sure.
My Official Seattle Pumpernickel Bagel Rankings
Bagel Oasis (Head and shoulders above the pack. The only one I would recommend.)
Zylberschtein’s (I would accept in a pinch.)
Oxbow (More for the crunch than the flavor.)
Westman’s (Strange flavor mix.)
Blazing Bagels (But then again you probably already assumed that.)
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